Juhu beach in the evening is a very crowded place at any time of the year. Akanksha had nevertheless decided to take her three children there. Her children had always loved the beach. The rides and its golas and its bhel puris. The waves swaying back and forth. like dancing to musical notes. The faces of the  people are always a treat to watch. Some smiling a smile of content, while some struggling with their children trying to contain their never ending demands. The shopkeepers looking expectantly at every passerby hoping to attract their attention.

Then there were the horses and the chariots galloping away across the beach with the wind blowing in the faces promising a thrill not to be expected on the roads of Mumbai.

Her son ten year old Sachin and twin daughters Meena and Maina squealed at the sheer speed of the chariots, clapping and jumping. Sachin had always wanted a horse for a pet. She knew what was coming.

“Why mom? Why can’t I have a horse?”

"Beta, Where are you going to keep it?”

“In my room”

 “Not possible Sachin.”

“Alright, Can I have a dog instead?”

“No”

 “Why not!”

“Because I already have three naughty pups to handle.”

“We are not pups.”

“Yes, you are mine.”

“How aboput a parrot. pleeease”

Akanksha knew once she went home she would have to have this conversation again. Seeing the horses at the beach always triggered Sachin’s desires.

Maina was now demanding a gola. Akanksha looked around. She was not the only hassled parent around. This gave her some solace. 

“Alright, You all wait here by this shop and I will go get you the golas. Promise you won’t go anywhere?”

 “Yes Yes we promise.”

Akanksha left her children and went towards the gola shop when she suddenly saw a very familiar face.

It was Archana. Her best friend, but what is she doing here? She is not supposed to be here. Had she not …….

Archana having spotted Akanksha walked up to her smiling.” Akshi! , imagine running into you here at the beach. Are you alone?

“No,  My kids are with me.”

“Kids! When did you marry?”

“Some time ago.”

“Who to?”

“Your brother.”

Archana is absolutely stunned.

Akanksha went on “I have three kids.”

“Three!” Why am I not aware of this she wonders.

“Yes. They are here. Would you like to meet them?"

“No”. She answers and walks away.

Akanksha watches her go and turns to go back to her kids.

“Who ordered for the kala khatta?” She hands one “and who asked for mixed gola?”

Handing the golas to her children, Akanksha looks up to see Archana coming towards her. She comes and stands right in front of the kids looking at them still wondering how was it she did not know. The kids looked quite old. For the first time a thought strikes her. Where has she been!

Akanksha, observing her closely, could almost read her mind.

“Children, this is your Archana Bua. "

The kids are perplexed. Had they heard their mother right?

“Archana Bua!  Where... How...? Did you not tell us that she …?

Akanksha stops Maina before she could finish her sentence.

“Go and play”

She turns back to see Archana gone.

“How do I tell you Archana…. Without making you feel sad…” She whispers to herself.

                                    ………………………………………..

Do you remember Akshi, the time we drove down to Sariska. It was night by the time we reached there. We went behind that old fort, climbed down to the lake and sat down on the rocks. Remember how scared we were. There were crocodiles in that lake. Wasn’t that lake beautiful, surrounded by high hills! It was a full moon that night. The moon looked as if it was resting on the hill and would now roll over on the other hills and come close to us. Remember Akshi.

Yes I remember.

                                      ………………………………….

Lying down lazily on the floor, playing antakshari with her children, with legs up on the sofa, may not be a conventional form or even decent to an onlooker but it was very relaxing for Akanksha. The floor, made cold with the sprinkling of water, on a hot summer afternoon, cooled the body, bringing much needed relief.

Just then Archana walks in.

“Akshi , life is a mystery.”

Akanksha, engrossed in the game, was suddenly struck by Archana’s remark.

“What?”

“More like an antithesis”, Archana went on.

“Antithesis?”

“Yes, there are two sides to everything, like good and bad, day and night, the conscious and the subconscious. One waking state and the other sleeping. In one we are prim, proper, and cautious all the time while in the other we can say or do anything, go anywhere, talk any amount of nonsense without a care. Our conscious self requires all the comforts and luxuries of life while the subconscious cares little about it for it.”

“I don’t see your point.”

“Why cannot life have one of everything, it would make things a little less stranger.

“That would hardly be a life then, absolutely uninteresting.”

“Exactly” Archana said triumphantly, “Why do we want everything to be interesting? Is it to give us a continuous sense of excitement and thereby confirming existence?

We have created stories of aliens and other planets. What if there is no other planet out there?”

“We have photographs of different planets and galaxies.”Akanksha reminded her.

“Just a form of mass hysteria all humans experience, reinstated all the time, from one generation to another. What if there is nothing there? What if there is nothing here?”

“What are we then?”

“Just delirium, of haunting voices.”

“Now you are scaring me.”

“Do you dream, Akshi”

“Certainly.”

“What if your dreams are your real self and this what you experience is a dream, all false.

Wouldn’t we like to live in our dreams?”

“That would bring chaos in the world”

“Is there already any less?”

and walks out of the room.

                        ………………………………………

Does a mother’s work ever get done, wonders Akanksha.

Buying vegetables at Mother Dairy is always a torture. The quality is so poor and with no care of hygiene.

Akanksha preferred buying them from the newly constructed vegetable market, close to her house. Pushing the cart and picking up attractively packed grains and vegetables gave one a sense of style. Globalization has its charm.

Lost in her thoughts Akanksha suddenly had a strange feeling as if she is being observed. She looked around to find a familiar face standing in a corner. Smilingly, she walks up to her.

“What are you doing here Archi?”

“Nothing much.” Archana replied.

“You keep turning up at the most impossible of places.”

“Do I? Why?”

“How should I know why?” Akanksha’s replied irritably.

She turns towards Archana, who is looking expectantly at her.

“Archi , Why do you keep coming back?”

“because you keep calling me.”

“ No, I don’t call you. You are dead Archi,

Died fifteen years ago.

 For the first time, she realised that she was now awake.

As Archana faded away, She could hear her  voice echoing in her ears:

 “No Akshi, I am not stuck up anywhere, Still, I am not sure of anything, what dies and what lives? ….maybe its your own past that is deluding you, enticing you away from your present, I am not even sure it is I who is remembering you or it is you who has not let me go, locked me in time, frozen my voice in your dreams.

But, Its time you moved on.... we…moved…on….”

……………………………………..